09.01.08

August 30th -- my birthday! But this year was definitely a harder birthday, because it was also my due date, for a baby I never got to hold. The tears are much less frequent now and the smiles much more abundant, and though life has returned to normal I still think about our baby every single day. Throughout the whole ordeal and the 10 weeks of physical healing that followed, I turned to music, as I always do, to find comfort and express what I was feeling. My iPod shuffle got quite the workout! One song, Unrestrained from Mandisa, became my *ultimate* worship song and will be a favorite throughout my lifetime. The second, Glory Baby from Watermark, was given as a gift from a friend who also had gone through a miscarriage. The music is upbeat, not slow and depressing, and it too has become a favorite for a lifetime.

I miss you baby and smile thinking of what you look like. I imagine your daddy's features, and long, stick straight, thick brown hair, completely opposite of your brother!! I can't wait to see it in person. ♥

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Glory baby you slipped away as fast as we could say baby…baby..
You were growing, what happened dear?
You disappeared on us baby…baby..
Heaven will hold you before we do
Heaven will keep you safe until we’re home with you…
Until we’re home with you…

Miss you everyday, Miss you in every way
But we know there’s a day when we will hold you
We will hold you
You’ll kiss our tears away , When we’re home to stay
Can’t wait for the day when we will see you
We will see you

But baby let sweet Jesus hold you ‘till mom and dad can hold you…
You’ll just have heaven before we do
You’ll just have heaven before we do

Sweet little baby, it’s hard to understand it
‘cause we’re hurting, we are hurting
But there is healing and we know we’re stronger people through the growing
And in knowing- That all things work together for our good
And God works His purposes just like He said He would…
Just like He said He would…

I can’t imagine heaven’s lullabies and what they must sound like
But I will rest in knowing, heaven is your home
And it’s all you’ll ever know…all you’ll ever know…