01.30.09

We had a wonderful ultrasound! And as you can tell by the above statement, we did decide to find out the sex and share that news. I know many were thinking that I was hoping for a girl, but truly I can say with 100% sincerity I did not have a preference. I simply want ... a baby! And the smile that I witnessed on Jeremy's face when he was told he was getting another boy was enough to make me giddy for the rest of the day. He is such a great father and he gets to do all over again, with another boy. I'm very excited for him, and for our family!!

Just like Oliver, this child was NOT modest!! I had an ultrasound tech whom I know fairly well perform the ultrasound, and I told her that if she knew 100% what sex the baby was, then we'd want to know. (Jeremy's wanted to know the whole time, I've been the one unsure.) And she literally put the transducer (the wand they hold) on my stomach and then immediately took it off and said "Do you want to know?" I laughed out loud and said "Really? Already?? You know?!" "Yes. Do you want to know?!" I knew then it was a boy!! He is lying breech/transverse (sideways) and basically showed us his stuff through the whole ultrasound!! It got kinda comical at the end, him continuing with his show for all to see. We got some great shots, but she had to work at it since he was showing us his back the whole time. Everything checked out great - 10 fingers, 10 toes. :) When she was measuring the head circumference, she commented on how she could already see hair on his head!! Also, with the measurements our "guessing dates" were pretty accurate, by about 3 days. So the due date remains .... June 21st.

The position he is lying in also tells me why I have been feeling very few movements, or rather the movements I have been feeling having been ... well, weird. He is lying sideways, facing my back. His spine is to my belly button. So whenever he moves, he's punching/kicking my back and lower pelvis. This feels *weird* sometimes!! That's the only way to describe it. It also explains why I have had so little movement in the front of my belly. Jeremy and others haven't been able to feel much movement either, and that's because all of baby's movements are to my back.

To say I'm excited is an understatement. I have waited for this baby for so long and the thought of getting to be a mommy to a little baby boy all over again just had me grinning from ear to ear all day. My cheeks literally started hurting at the end of the day, and my coworkers just laughed at my mood. I am elated.

I do not have a scanner, so as soon as I figure out a decent way to get the ultrasound pics on here, I will.

Oliver continues with his cough/fever, and the last 2 nights have been a bit rough. He seems to be sleeping comfortably now though, so I'm hoping tonight goes better.

And now, we ND folks are in a blizzard watch!! Really?! REALLY!!! I feel so bad because we are supposed to be taking Kyla and Carter to a hotel tomorrow night for a day/night of pizza, movies, and swimming. I hope/pray we can still go through with it.

Alright, gotta get to bed. Many prayers will be said tonight of praise and thanksgiving for our healthy, growing, adorable, and much loved BABY BOY. :)

01.28.09

Happy Wednesday!

Just as I typed the title for this post, "01.28.09" it became aware to me that today is the one year anniversary of us finding out we lost our pregnancy, our baby, last year. One whole year has gone by. I have to say sometimes it felt like time would never pass, and sometimes it felt like it had gone by way too fast! A lot of growth in a year, and a lot of changes! I am surprised that I didn't even realize this day had come. My day went by, as it always does, and never once did I think about it. Until right now - and I think that's okay. I'll never forget the hope I held for that baby, but I can't wait for this baby either!

So today I am about 19 weeks 3 days, give or take a few days (weeks?). The month that we conceived this baby was messed up, and dates are off somewhere. Basically ~ long story in a nutshell ~ (and also TMI for any males reading out there!) ~ I could tell I had not been ovulating for about 2 months. I'll spare the details - but I knew. I had a blood test to confirm it, and yep, no ovulation had occurred. So basically the game then is to wait for your period, or cycle day 35, whichever comes first. If you get to day 35, we'll give you a medicine to bring on your period. BUT...you have to take a pregnancy test first, to confirm. Day 35 came for me, and so I took a pregnancy test so I could get my prescription. It was 6:30 in the morning. And I SCREAMED out loud after I saw the test results. Jeremy comes running in and I handed him the test and told him to tell me what he saw. He said, without hesitating, "I see two lines. What does that mean??" We were pregnant!

We just took a jab at possible dates and then went from there. My official ultrasound is Friday! I can't believe it's already this Friday. So we will have a "for sure" due date then, and I will be sure to pass that info on. Right now the due date is June 21, and if the ultrasound dates differ by 10-14 days, then we will change it to the ultrasound dates. If it is less than that, then June 21 it is. And, as for the question of the year...No, I don't know if we are finding out the sex yet, and no, I don't know if we're telling anybody!! :) We are most likely doing the "put it in an envelope for later" thing until we can make up our minds.

I feel like I have so much to say. I can't type fast enough.

This pregnancy has been so different from Oliver's. The first was -wow- hello belly! That thing grew with force and fervor like never before. haha I could not believe how quickly I started showing! Also, with Oliver I was so over-involved, and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing, I just realize now it is a typical thing for a first time mom. With this pregnancy, cramps come and go, pains come and go, movements come and go, and life goes on!! Dishes need to be done, laundry needs to get folded, and I find myself losing these weeks so quickly. I don't think I need to document quite everything I did last time, but something would be good!! The morning sickness with this child was brutal. And just like with Ollie, it wasn't really in the morning, but rather from 6 pm and on. I was totally useless for about 12 weeks. And it wasn't heartburn, or back pain like last time, just extreme fatigue and nausea. Then, like a light switch at around 13 weeks, it was done! I noticed one day I felt better, and the good days just never stopped coming. Since then I've been doing very well! So well that I get scared sometimes ~ should it be like this? Is it just because I'm so busy that I don't have time to think about all the symptoms? I am tired - but I have a very energetic 3-year old to chase after! That's just par for the course. But really I can't complain, this pregnancy has been easy. And baby's movements are much different than last time too. Softer - quieter - less often, but still there everyday. Oliver was always trying to break out of my tummy. :)

Speaking of Oliver, he is unfortunately sick tonight, so most of this afternoon was spent cuddling. And when Oliver wants to cuddle, I drop EVERYTHING and I cuddle!! The cuddle times are much too few and far between now to pass up any opportunity. But I do fear a long night ahead of us....

Okay, I've written a book and will be done. I never think I have anything to say until I start typing, and then it just kinda spews out of me. Thanks for caring and taking the time to read this far.

And lastly I leave you with three pictures; one is the first belly picture for this pregnancy! Excuse the camera, it's got issues, and apparently thought the candle behind me was the focus. And the second is of my big man playing his trombone. (Matt Franko would be proud!) He loves music, and there is a trombone solo line in "The Bear Necessities" from The Jungle Book that he has to play everytime. Melts my heart!... The third is of Mr. Cuteness himself, my new nephew, Parker Robert Spoonland. He was born last Wednesday, 1/21, and is the darn near cutest thing I have ever seen. We love him up quite a bit!

01.17.09

New Year ... New Baby ... New Nephew ... New Blog!

After many months off from writing on the blog I think I'm going to give it a go again. Maybe. :) I have different feelings about it this time than when I was pregnant with Oliver, but I think that's just part of the evolving process with being a mom, learning more about that and myself, and feeling different about pregnancy in general, especially after the miscarriage. That being said, I found this poem and that it was a great way to start out this "pregnancy journal" - as I now affectionately call Oliver's past pregnancy posts. (I still read them from time to time!)

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A Different Child

by Pandora MacMillian

People notice
There's a special glow around you.

You grow
Surrounded by love,
Never doubting you are wanted;
Only look at the pride and joy
In your mother and father's eyes.

And if sometimes
Between the smiles
There's a trace of tears,
One day
You'll understand.

You'll understand
There was once another child
A different child
Who was in their hopes and dreams.

That child will never outgrow the baby clothes
That child will never keep them up at night
In fact, that child will never be any trouble at all.

Except sometimes, in a silent moment,
When mother and father miss so much
That different child.

May hope and love wrap you warmly
And may you learn the lesson forever
How infinitely precious
How infinitely fragile
Is this life on earth.

One day, as a young man or woman
You may see another mother's tears
Another father's silent grief
Then you, and you alone
Will understand
And offer the greatest comfort.

When all hope seems lost,
You will tell them
With great compassion,
"I know how you feel.
I'm only here
Because my mother tried again."